They say that a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. A large part of me has always believed that I have the courage to attempt and achieve anything which might challenge me in life, and for the largest part I have been right. It has always been a simple act of stepping forward – into a leadership position, off a bungee bridge, to excell in sporting challenges, the list goes on. Never have I anticipated the extraordinary challenges which might come from the journey as much as I do now, and the relentless endurance one needs to hold out in the face of adversity.
I have mentioned in previous letters of some of the challenges the ocean has put forward but they simply do not stop. We are less than 650nm from home and have just lost our motor, for the second time on the journey. Our winds are light and fading and what we thought would be another 5 days is looking a whole lot longer very quickly. It has been 38 days since we left Rio de Janeiro and I still need to remind myself every day that this journey must at some point come to an end, or will it? Never before have I experienced such mental strain simply to remain positive and keep my own hopes up. It seems absurd, but somewhere deep inside of me lingers the echoing posibility that we will never actually arrive in Cape Town – a tormenting thought to say the least.
We continue to reflect with each other over what the journey has meant to each of us, what lessons we have learnt, what things about us have changed forever and what we will do differently when we get back to land. We ask each other what the first thing is that we want to do when we reach our port of call and thoughs of lavish meals and drinks have almost completely vanished, to be temporarily replaced by images of clean clothes, a warm shower and the comfort and company of loved ones. The only thought which now remains is however that of dry land. A place to walk, to be still, to be safe. This oceanic hopelessness has its moments for lession learning but now the bell must ring and this lesson must finally end. I know I will be home soon and I know this feeling will leave my mind and body, but until I see that beautiful Table Mountain upon the horizon, I cannot but maintain my thoughts of this being a perpetual journey. I long to let these thoughts and emotions which I now feel be a memory of past and story which I can tell. I long to choose my battles more wisely and avoid such situations of helplessness and longing. For now I will hang onto my hope and know that you will guide me and stay with me through every inch of the journey left.
Adapted from Letters on the Atlantic
Lloyd Peter Blake - This Is Me 